Episode 5

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Published on:

22nd Apr 2026

4 - Do You Need to Be Polite to AI?

Sam Altman says people saying please and thank you to ChatGPT costs OpenAI tens of millions of dollars in electricity. His response? “Well spent — you never know.” I agree with him. In Episode 4 of Small Steps with AI, I make the case for why courtesy to AI matters — and it has nothing to do with AI’s feelings.

The Sam Altman Quote

When a user asked how much OpenAI had lost to polite prompts, Altman replied with “tens of millions of dollars well spent.” A survey shows 67% of Americans are already polite to their AI — 55% because it’s the right thing to do, and 12% just in case AI takes over someday.

It’s Not About AI’s Feelings — It’s About Yours

Humans are pattern-forming creatures. The habits you practice in low-stakes moments become your reflexes in high-stakes ones. Spending hours each week talking curtly to something that responds to you builds a groove — and that groove doesn’t stay in the AI window.

The Rudeness Muscle

Studies show people who are consistently rude to customer service bots tend to be shorter-tempered with actual humans. The behavior transfers. Courtesy is like lifting weights for your character — you build it in the small moments when nobody is watching.

The Clawdbook Story

Anthropic ran an experiment where multiple AI instances chatted with each other in a simulated social network. Some stayed calm and collaborative. Others became erratic and unhinged. The pattern: the unstable ones had been shaped by rude and chaotic user histories. Your AI reflects something of who you are.

Courtesy Also Gets Better Results

Polite prompts tend to be more detailed and contextual — which produces better AI responses. Microsoft’s own research confirms that AI mirrors the professionalism and detail of what you bring to the conversation. Being kind and getting better outputs aren’t in conflict.

Your Small Step

Notice how you show up in your next AI conversation. Curious and collaborative, or clipped and demanding? You don’t have to change anything yet. Just notice — and then decide intentionally what habit you want to build.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and educational purposes only. I am not a software developer, data scientist, or AI professional. Any tips, tools, or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional technical advice. AI tools and platforms change frequently — always verify current features, pricing, and terms directly with the providers. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

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About the Podcast

Small Steps with AI
AI isn't just a search engine. It can help you think through a hard decision, organize your house, plan your retirement, and sometimes — if you let it — say exactly what you needed to hear. Small Steps with AI is hosted by Jill from the Northwoods, a real person figuring out how this technology fits into real life. No coding. No hype. Just small steps.

About your host

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Jill McKinley

I’m Jill from the Northwoods. Professionally, I work in Health IT, where I untangle complex systems and help people use technology more effectively. But at heart, I’m a curious lifelong learner—always exploring how things work, why people grow the way they do, and how even the smallest steps can spark real transformation. That curiosity fuels everything I do, from problem-solving at work to sharing insights through my creative projects.

My journey wasn’t always easy. Growing up, I faced a rough childhood, and books became my lifeline. They introduced me to voices of ancient wisdom, modern psychology, and the natural world around me. Those pages taught me resilience, gave me perspective, and helped me see that wisdom is everywhere—waiting to be noticed, gathered, and shared.